ncv dg gfh vb Don't.

kanyewestevil:

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS

officialunitedstates:

Shoutout to everyone named:
James, John, Robert, Michael, William, David, Richard, Charles, Joseph, Thomas, Mary, Patricia, Linda, Barbara, Elizabeth, Jennifer, Maria, Susan, Margaret, Dorothy.

officialunitedstates:

hachi356:

officialunitedstates:

introverts:  ray of sunshine, small little bird hopping through tree branch, warm dog on your lap

extroverts: that thin piece of green mush that sits on top of swamps and has a lot of flies on it, tastes really bad too

How would you know what an extrovert tastes like

thats none of your business

officialunitedstates:

me when I see a big bug in front of me and am ready to stomp on it

officialunitedstates:

me when I see a big bug in front of me and am ready to stomp on it

grimelords:

turns out atm memes are the most relatable of all

grimelords:

turns out atm memes are the most relatable of all

grimelords:

This guy is so mad about a female ghostbusters remake he doesn’t even realise he just came up with the movie of the century.

grimelords:

This guy is so mad about a female ghostbusters remake he doesn’t even realise he just came up with the movie of the century.

grimelords:

this is the worst headline pun I’ve ever seen and I love it

grimelords:

this is the worst headline pun I’ve ever seen and I love it

grimelords:

I went to an open mic tonight and when I walked in I saw these two guys at a little table up the back near the toilets who seemed like they were meeting for the first time. It was a middle aged clean cut asian guy in a business shirt, and a really tall beefy white guy with long hair and a beard who looked like he was in his early twenties, and they were talking about their favourite footy teams like “oh I follow Richmond” “oh me too!” and getting to know each other and I thought “grindr seems cool” and kept walking. 

About an hour and a half later the open mic’s finished and I came back downstairs and these two guys were still sitting there. Except now they had a laptop on the table and were watching what was unmistakably a ufo documentary, complete with zoomed in shots on grainy black and white photos of ufos over old castles, and one of the guys had a book next to him called The Secret Revolution Of Truth. So either these guys have met online and decided to meet at the back of this bar to share some top secret information that the illuminati doesn’t want them to know, or one of them is having the world’s absolute best grindr date.

grimelords:

I went to an open mic tonight and when I walked in I saw these two guys at a little table up the back near the toilets who seemed like they were meeting for the first time. It was a middle aged clean cut asian guy in a business shirt, and a really tall beefy white guy with long hair and a beard who looked like he was in his early twenties, and they were talking about their favourite footy teams like “oh I follow Richmond” “oh me too!” and getting to know each other and I thought “grindr seems cool” and kept walking.

About an hour and a half later the open mic’s finished and I came back downstairs and these two guys were still sitting there. Except now they had a laptop on the table and were watching what was unmistakably a ufo documentary, complete with zoomed in shots on grainy black and white photos of ufos over old castles, and one of the guys had a book next to him called The Secret Revolution Of Truth. So either these guys have met online and decided to meet at the back of this bar to share some top secret information that the illuminati doesn’t want them to know, or one of them is having the world’s absolute best grindr date.